Ladyhawke (1985)

“Ladyhawke” is one of those water cooler conversation movies. It is always brought up as the film everyone has heard of, but rarely has been seen – and those that have seen it, worship the ground it steps on. Recently, “Ladyhawke” came across my player, and the opportunity to view this romantic fantasy was presented. Being an enormous fan of both “The Princess Bride”, “Willow”, and any of the reincarnations of “Robin Hood”, I was eager to add another title to the cannon. I wanted to be that guy that stood around the water cooler mentioning “Ladyhawke” to the utter confusion of my coworkers. Alas, my dreams were not that of Navarre or Isabeau, instead they were shattered as soon as the 2+ hours were completed. One can argue that this is a creative film; one could argue that the attraction between Hauer and Pfiffer was pure uncut chemistry, and one could argue that this is one of those forgotten classics that needs to be remembered. Disappointingly, that is not my reaction to this Richard Donner helmed behemoth. From a disastrous score (yep, jumping on that bandwagon) to cardboard acting to a underdeveloped plot, “Ladyhawke” failed to be anything more than just your average fantasy film.

As the anticipation of angry faces on this review is realized, let me stress my points. “Ladyhawke” had quite a bit of potential. The idea was in place, the actors may have been able to handle their respective roles (at least Broderick could), and the director was the director of “Superman”. How could this project fail? At the beginning, there are no problems. Our introduction to Phillipe aka “the Mouse” felt genuine and unique. His escape from prison gave us a deeper insight to his character, his abilities, and his child-like motives. The opening scene felt like it was going to set the tone for the remainder of the film, and for the brief 15-minutes of Phillipe’s escape, the level of enjoyment was up. Then, we are full-throttled into the world of Navarre, and our dynamic changes. This becomes less of a film about Phillipe, whom I was rooting for, but instead a substandard story about two star-crossed lovers that by magic cannot be together. Not only does our dynamic change (less Phillipe more quiet stares and gruff Hauer), but our story devolves into whatever Donner feels like throwing in on that day of shooting. Never are we introduced to magic within the world, but suddenly we are to believe that this mutation is plausible. There is realization that we are focusing on these two particular individuals, but we have no control group to experience the day-to-day of this world. Then, more intermediate characters are brought forward to build excitement, when honestly, the just build confusion. Question arise like was Cezar (Alfred Molina!) necessary, was John Wood as evil as predicted as the Bishop (need more!), and where does Imperius fit within everything. “Ladyhawke” felt like Donner wanted sweeping landscapes, star-crossed lovers, and an epic church battle, but cared nothing for what fell in between.

With a lacking structure, we are forced to plop ourselves down and watch Hauer and Pfiffer carry this film – which is the bigger tragedy of this film because neither understand their roles not provide us with any definition. Isabeau, the less developed of the two, begins with mere stares, being more mysterious then passionate, and then, as we get closer to the finale, Donner makes us question her love for Hauer – which undermines this entire film. It makes us think that this is not eternal love, but merely a difficult circumstance. Hauer, more muscle than mind, fights his way through every battle using a sword the size of Phillipe. He is the most grounded of our group, and seems to be fighting more for their love than Pfiffer, but one needs to question when this epic battle didn’t happen earlier. Why was Phillipe needed to spark this journey? If the love was that powerful, wouldn’t Hauer have tried to meet with Imperius prior, fought the Bishop himself, and perhaps won his love himself? This piece just didn’t fit – their characters wanted it, but why couldn’t they do it?

Finally, the music is horrible. Yes, the 80s were a time of synthesizers and imagination, but it just didn’t fit with this genre of film. No matter how you put it, the music ruins the scenes in which we feel like the guards are going to break out in dance or have huge sunglasses. Donner failed in the world of sound for this film, and merely for that – I can see why “Ladyhawke” hasn’t taken off further.

FILM: This film was flimsy. The story wasn’t structurally sound, the support (aka the actors) didn’t know who their characters were, and the only shine in this darkened tunnel was Matthew Broderick, who charmed his way out of every predicament possible. This is tough film to rewatch and even a tougher challenge to enjoy.

VISUAL: The special effects were pure 80s, one cannot fault highly for that. Yet this transfer was horrible. It was like a VHS copy onto DVD. Warner has not updated this disc since DVDs were first introduced, and that is sad.

SOUND: One must applaud the genius who decided that synthesizers were a key element to period fantasy films. I have never heard anything quite like this before, and I don’t think I will again. “Ladyhawke” is ruined, no matter what you say, due to the sound chosen to be our “Hero’s March”.

EXTRAS: Staying true to the idea that nothing has changed since DVDs were first introduced, the extras contained are bios of the actors (done in page format – not video), a diary of some of the key scenes (again page format), suggestions of other films, and finally, the quintessential trailer. Nothing else. I am not an audio commentary snob, but Donner’s words – even Hauer’s gruff voice would have added to this disc immensely.

Overall, not impressed. I began this film with hopes to discover a new fantasy to introduce to friends and be that guy around the water cooler. “Ladyhawke” is not that film. I believe it has been unjustly pushed into a cult category due to the popularity of its actors and possibly director. The acting is below par, the soundtrack is hilarious, and the story is as ramshackled as this disc. It is not a film to talk about, not a film to watch, nor a film to enjoy. This was a disappointment – I can applaud Matthew Broderick for not forcing me to throw the disc out after the first hour, but other than that it failed. “Ladyhawke” should be left in the darkened backlist of the local video store for years to come, only to be seen by some unsuspecting person hoping for the same quest I envisioned, but being disgusted again and again and again.

Found in my John Stanley "Creature Features" book, this is my second "L" film and sadness has struck me again. I was hoping for excitement, but all I found were unfilled plotholes. After much thought, I am going to give this film a pink mark - average due to Broderick, but almost a yellow due to the rest of the film. I cannot give it a bad mark because of Broderick, but if it weren't for him - urg, I would hate to considered how low this would go. Well, the "L"s will continue.