Pale Blood (1990)

One could say a New Year provides a plethora of new films, but this cozy reviewer doesn't mind taking a page from the early, early 90s. Out feeling ill today, there was a moment of nostalgia when I placed this movie into my VHS player. It felt like when I was young, I would go to the video store when I was sick, returning with a stack of new/old films, and cover myself for the day. It was joyous, now, with DVD, dying video stores, and streaming, what is the need? I still miss the golden days of rentals, and the joys of placing a VHS into the player when you are sick (aka the cure to the common cold). Today, was no different. The film of choice, Pale Blood was one of those feature films that went straight to video, had a thirty-minute plot, but with ample background footage and the occasional breast scene, this suddenly transformed into an erotic thriller. Mind you, there was nothing erotic nor thrilling about this obscure twist on the vampire genre. For those unaware of this film (which would probably be most), Pale Blood centers around killings in Los Angeles that look like they are happening by a vampire. Nobody believes this to be true, until a dark and shadowy figure gets off the airplane looking for another of his kind. Classic late 80s music ensues coupled with a lot, and I am going to stress this, a lot of B-roll background footage. People walking around, typical 80s, early 90s looking punks, all transitioning into a love-making scene. See, even in Pale Blood music can transform the lives of just about anyone - even if you are a vampire!

What about this film worked? Despite me arguing about the lackluster plot, there was a moment of ingenuity with it. I liked the concept that when vampires hear of other vampires making news, they hunt them down. I liked the idea that vampires were a dying breed, that they weren't just a normal occurance in this society. Nobody believed that they existed, but oddly, when they showed up, there were no skeptics. The thrills come from the filmmakers trying to lead us to the person actually doing the killings, and inevitably leading us to the big "GASP" of an ending. Strangely, you can see that coming before you can blink. In fact, by the half hour mark you know there is something strange happening between the vampire (an Italian man whose name escapes me for the moment) and this semi-hot detective (one should say private eye) who has a vampire fetish. When a mind meld occurs between the two of them, one who has seen movies like this in the past, should realize that they are joined together for the duration of this film. What just failed in Pale Blood was the simplistic nature of the overall plot of this film. We are only introduced to five characters, knowing that, we can logically figure out who the bad guy is going to be merely because he was the only other male in this film. They tried to make it creative by giving us this "mock" opening which revealed later, but again, it just seems forced and less exciting. I also need to applaud the filmmakers for not sticking with Hollywood standard with these women. Our leading ladies were not amazingly beautiful, they were - average - and it made this direct-to-home video seem, well, more direct-to-home.

With no budget, what seemed like a four day shooting schedule, and a sinister bad guy and diabolical good guy that had nothing more in common then being in the wrong place at the wrong time, Pale Blood did ultimately fail. It had a higher standard than the rest, but when it came down to the nuts and bolts, the excitement to watch this again just wasn't there. It reminded me of a less independent version of The Addiction (a misguided vampire film as well). While I appreciate the twist, or new idea on the vampire story, it is the story itself that fails. The foundation is merely supported with songs by Agent Orange and freakish close ups of the band leaders eyes. This is no Lost Boys, which I am happy about, but it should have been something. Money was no matter, the idea of plausible was thrown out the door, and again, this should have been a mere thirty minute long pilot episode. The ending is just comical, absolutely not filling in the remainder of the film. It, like everything else, just feels disjointed from the rest.

Found in my "Essential Monster Movie Guide", this is nearly the end of a string that has included both The Pagemaster, Paris When it Sizzles, and now onto another VHS called Curse III: Blood Sacrifice (apparently I don't need to see the other ones first). Wish me luck on that. Sadly, due to the misplaced feel of this film, it is getting a yellow mark with black line. I would not watch it again. If I would have seen this in a video store, I probably would have rented it, so it goes in my store. Alas, I don't think I could watch it again. I am sorry Agent Orange, your music did not pull me in the right direction!