Scarred (1983)

Living on the streets is tough. Not being able to speak from experience, but merely influenced via film, books, and true-life events, the trials and tribulations involved with those that rely on the hard concrete for support are harsh. Any book will strike fear within your mind, a film will give you the visuals, and take a few moments to watch the news - there is nothing but honesty there! Upon viewing Scarred, I want to make sure that it is realized that I do not mock those that have to endure the hardship. With that said, Scarred is a visual and cinematic disgrace to those living on the streets. From the painfully blurry cinematography to the atrocious character-less story all the way to whatever our actors were trying to accomplish, Scarred failed. I am not afraid to say, admit, discuss the less-than-redeeming value that Scarred brought to the player. Not only was it embarrassing for everyone involved, but - well - I didn't even finish it. Admittingly, I did fast forward until the end just to see if there would be anything of value to pull away from - but nothing at all. The only high point to this film -- the ending credits!

Analytically, let's take a look at this movie. Red, as seen from the photos, is the color of the night. The ladies in red represent those of the night, and our lead - Jennifer Mayo - representing the color with the name Ruby - leaves her home due to struggles as well as an unwanted child. The lines, like the image on this cut-rate DVD are blurred. From chugging (and not spitting out) what seems like the COSTCO brand of Listerine to the Carrie-esque inspired blood/paint sequence that adds no further value to the overall story. I understand that director Rosemarie Turko perhaps wanted the film to ooze realism, which is valid, but cannot work if there is no structure. There was no sympathy for our characters, nothing that made us (the viewers) want to do anything more than wait until the final frames. There are "johns" that add nothing to the immediate needs of our main character Ruby. Who is Ruby? Why is she so whiny? Why does she look like she is twelve? What brought her to this significant point in her life? Nothing was added, informed, or detailed. Ruby was a paper bag character, used to float through each scene, bring us to an unfelt conclusion.

The final entry in my "Destroy all Movies" book, this has been a hodgepodge ride of decent, mediocre, to really bad cinema. I think this mix best represented the true mix of Hollywood in the 80s and the unsure direction of modern cinema (yet the birth of independent producing - as this film Scarred was brought to us partially funded by AFI and through the National Endowment of the Arts -- which all I can say is "what a low point for both of these organizations"). Alas, I cannot speak anything positive about this film. Scarred is what the dollar bin was specifically created for - or should I say, also why late-night Cinemax was famous for. Ruby was pointless, nothing made sense, and ultimately it was a huge failure. I will always take 80s films, but this was too much a difficult pill to swallow (I was going to use a street reference, but I am not sure what kids read these choppy words). Sadly, yet proudly, this is getting a yellow highlight with black mark. Nobody should watch this film and it constantly surprises me that this can find a release, but most amazing old, classic, and powerful cinema is left in vaults to die. So very sad.

Scanners III: The Takeover (1992)

Is it wrong that I have now seen Scanners III, but none of the others in this series? Is it like starting with the last Matrix movie questioning everything you witness? Let me answer that question with a defined, "NO". You may begin with Scanners III and be pleasantly surprised. Upon watching this movie, I was taken back to a time when VHS was the norm, and Hollywood studios didn't mind releasing low-budget films, because the creativity was ever-present. Today, the same rushed garbage just keeps hitting the streets because DVD is cheap, and a sequel knock-off doesn't need a load of cash. Scanners III provided plenty of boobs, improbabilities, and impressive special effects for a film so far removed from the original Cronenberg classic that, while laughable, just transformed you to a better cinematic time. The story of Scanners III never felt rushed, the details were laid out well, and the ending had one of those quintessential moments that questioned the true finale of Scanners III. It was low budget, it was pure, nearly uncut science fiction that took you to the far reaches of the world. It also had a pretty intense Hot Tub death scene. The science also felt believable. I was impressed.

Found in my "Destroy All Movies" book, this nearly wraps up another great set of films. While mixed on many, this one is one that I am proud to have in the collection. A great early 90s romp through what feels more creative and original then the inner-workings of today's Hollywood. Giving a pink mark (not quite perfect) means that I would revisit it again, and I would be very excited to show this to a group of people! A great entry into a series I cannot wait to explore further!

Satisfaction (1988)

Satisfaction. Upon finishing this film, words are difficult to really formulate on the sole reaction to this film. There were intense moments, 1980s hair, a lackadaisical approach to real-life though it seemed our characters came from a troubled past (hint: see the Bateman broken home), and there was tons (not an over-exaggeration) of cowbell. As our 80s teen-drama begins, Justine Bateman (looking overly man-ish) is a hard nosed rocker ready for her big break the summer before college. She has graduated with a punk attitude and is ready to take over the world. With a riled graduation speech, and her gang of misfit chicks, this modern-day "Jem and the Holograms" grabs a local keyboard nerd and the stage is set for great tunes, young love, and awkward chemistry. Add to the mix a relationship years too soon, a young Liam Neeson, a drug problem, and inevitably an attempted Julia Roberts' rape scene, and you have the homogeneous film, Satisfaction.

Is this film any good? Those reading this review - do you really want to know? First, this was 1988, where writing was second nature to just filling in plot points. This is a prime example. Watching Satisfaction there are these blatantly obvious moments where those involved with the production knew they just didn't have enough to work with. Case in point: the volleyball scene. A group of angry, scorched band mates decide they want to challenge a bright sunny day with volleyball, hilarity should have ensued, but instead we were bombarded with a montage scene that could rival that of "Team America, World Police". The entire scene doesn't fit. Which basically snowballs the rest of this film. It is a juggle between horrible acting, overplayed songs, and cheese. Plain cheesy. Going beyond the atypical review where we can break down the characters, where we can find the guiding light of honesty within film, and talk about the social necessities of youth, music, and the hardships of realities - it just doesn't happen in Satisfaction.

When this doesn't happen then what are you left with? There needs to be something that audiences can relate to - that audiences can grow into, but nothing arrives. We only have five major players in this whole film, and none can escape the paper bag that they have been drawn into. Cliche after cliche attempts to push through the overbearing live performances that our characters cannot control. They do not know music, their stances and expressions push away from realism, but again, who expects that with Satisfaction? Look at the box art. This is candy, old candy. Candy that has been sitting at your grandmother's house for years past, just waiting for that perfect time to enjoy.

If it feels that I am being overly harsh with this film, fair not, I wasn't the only one. Being a box office bomb (not to mention Justine's first major motion picture) and further demonstrating the failed Julia Roberts' acting ability [ie: Eat, Pray, Love], this was renamed for television in hopes to find further viewers that would be fooled by the clever name change "Girls of Summer". Satisfaction provided nothing that the title suggested. Its bland story was heavily bolded by the dubbed singing and faux-guitar playing that each member of this film attempted to accurately portray. Does it speak anything about Satisfaction when Liam Neeson, to this day, still claims not to have seen this movie? I wish I could only be so lucky.

Found in my "Destroy all Movies: Punks in Film" book, Satisfaction provided no, none, extinct satisfaction. The mix-matched group of girls coupled with the overly boozy Neeson just seemed and felt too cookie-cutter for any real originality to occur. There was no character development, no creative music, and our director - one Joan Freeman - used simplistic shots and classic 80s cut-scenes to force unheralded drama onto the viewers. There is no reason why this couldn't have been a lighter romp, but with the undercurrent of broken homes, drug use, and a big F**k You to the world, this pushed the dark envelope too much for the safe boundaries. I cannot stress this enough, but the entire volleyball scene just ruined the film for me. Not only were these supposed good singers, but they couldn't understand the basics for volleyball? Were we dealing with idiots that were victims of happenstance? It just didn't work.

Alas, Satisfaction you are getting a yellow highlight with black mark - never to be seen or suggested again. I end on this one question. Using this as your resume, how did both Justine Bateman and Julia Roberts' ever find work again? Does a pretty face outweigh talent? The world may never know...

The Satan Killer (1993)

Had the unique opportunity to watch this direct-to-video Virginia made movie yesterday, and needless to say it was horrible and funny all at the same time. Don't be upset by the box-art, neither one of these characters are in the actual film (there are ones that look like them, but less glossy). This is a low-budget, curse word laden feature that made the 80s glorious, but instead fell well behind the times and was released in 1993. In that sense, it just doesn't work. The horrible budget, the lackluster visuals, and the story that feels like it is cookie-cut direct from other, big budget stories, cheapens the entire need to ever go visit Virginia Beach. I am surprised that VA Beach even allowed this to happen.

First, let me say that I am proud to have this at my Video Store, and if you still have a VHS player, come and check this low-budget atrocity out. I do not think that this is the last you will see of The Satan Killer, but I will not be watching this movie again. I laughed quite a bit, but man - who edited this slice of trash.

I went into this film no expectations, and I actually came out of this film with less exepectations. This was like the action-version of The Dead Next Door which only lives due to the cultish nature of the film. If you like films like the one mentioned or Troll 2, then this may be right up your alley. Hey, I am going to suggest it to you if you come and and say "I need a good VHS to watch tonight". But, I am not going to rate it well here. Found in my "Destroy All Movies" book, it is getting a pink mark. I just changed my idea right there. I was going in with this film to give it a yellow mark, but I changed - due to a slight appreciation for the unexpected humor. I also liked the Doug Wilder banners flashed all around.

This would be a great addition to MOVIE DAY. I will keep it until then!