Lady Terminator (1988)

Comedy is a difficult task to pull off. The best sort of comedies are ones that don’t try, they are funny, original, and entertaining throughout. Modern audiences can smell a fake comedy miles away – it is those that do not try that somehow make the biggest splash. “Lady Terminator” is one of those films. Absolutely it is not supposed to be a comedy; its intention is to be a full fledged action film packed with sex, violence, and of course, the teaspoon of the mystical. It is a complete and utter, nearly frame by frame, retelling of the original American film, “The Terminator”, equipped with repeatable lines, iconic images, and tons of tons of explosions. Oh, did I mention that a Panzer tank comes out of nowhere? If this doesn’t already tickle your taste buds or prove that the Wayans’ humor can be better found elsewhere, well, then … I just don’t know what you may find entertaining or humorous any longer. Let me repeat, a Panzer tank comes when called! “Lady Terminator” offers nothing the conventional film could guarantee. There is horrid acting, misplaced dubs, and a story that seemed like it was written scene by scene – so why did I laugh and enjoy this piece of garbage? “Lady Terminator” was grade-A B-entertainment. The shots were cheap, the scenes were convoluted, and nothing connected (really), but this little film never tried to be something it wasn’t. From the first scene until the last, “Lady Terminator” remained gory, violent, and full of “Terminator” iconography. My next question is … what more do we need?

The story is a rehash of the South Sea Queen mythos, where a demon (or God) of the sea cannot quench her physical satisfaction, so she kills all her potential lovers. One man is able to satisfy, and she instantly places a curse on his great-great granddaughter. Jump to the future, and an anthropologist is on the hunt for the South Sea Queen’s castle under the sea and ironically transforms into a Terminator creature determined to kill, kill, and finally kill the person who carries what the great-great grandfather stole from her many years ago. It is part sci-fi (though I couldn’t tell you which part), it is part fantasy, and it pure uncut hilarious. “Lady Terminator” is one of those great films that you find, sit down with a group of friends, have some beers, and laugh endlessly. Then, the film carries – it goes from one friend to another until cult status is reached. Despite perhaps not knowing anything about it, upon watching you will see the cult ability all over it. The “Terminator” references, the fantastic final battle, and everything in between. Made in 1988, “Lady Terminator” again carries nothing for the average film snob to discover. There is bad acting from the beginning. The lack of continuity between the shots is disruptive at first, but as the film continues to escalate from one battle to the next, it seems to make sense. This is an ultra-low budget film that was created out of Indonesia to help a booming film market. There is an interesting documentary within this film that discusses how and why films of this nature were created. Sure, there is no budget, no great actors, and sloppy editing (the list could go on), but this film has heart. It tries and it succeeds as a film like “Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter” did. It is one of those undiscovered cult films that needs to be pulled out of the dark.

Unlike most US Hollywood films, there is little to say about this film. The structure was faulty and the concept was riddled with holes, but unlike American films, it pushes through. It continues to add onto itself by creating one skewed iconic references after another. Mando Macabro has done a fabulous job of releasing this DVD. While the transfer suffers (only because it is probably the only transfer available), what it makes up in are special features and previews of upcoming releases. If “Lady Terminator” doesn’t inspire you to watch more from the Indonesian catalogue – well, one should reconsider themselves a worldwide cinephile.

FILM: Nothing to report to your mother about, it was cheap – but again, unlike bigger Hollywood cult films, it deserved it. It enhanced the viewing enjoyment and forced MST3K-ish moments from your very seat. It was an applauded moment.

VISUAL: Nothing like that VHS feeling on your DVD player. Even the up-conversion didn’t help. Again, I didn’t need it to. It was great to see this film in its rawest form.

SOUND: Outside the overuse of gun sound effects, was there any sound? Oh, there was a song at the disco that could easily become a Halloween costume.

EXTRAS: With the quintessential trailer for “Lady Terminator”, there is also the unpopular page scroll of small trivia that you can read about this production (and about production in Indonesia as well), the big slabs of meat come from the small documentary that discusses this and other films of this decade, as well as the upcoming Mando Macabro releases. I am excited for what there is to come.

Overall, I loved this film. It isn’t a film for anyone, if you loved “LA Confidential” or can’t get enough “Gladiator”, than I don’t suggest putting this film in your player – but if you are a fan of explosions and nudity, random Panzer tanks, and cheap James Cameron – than watch this film. There is a thought I had; perhaps this redefine of the “Terminator” film is trying to show us what the core of the original “Terminator” was all about. Was it a sad story about the future, or merely a gun friendly film? The world may never know. Watch this movie. Try to find it or pay the $20+ to get it. You will not be disappointed. Better than any “Transformers 2” could ever wish to be!

Found in John Stanley's "Creature Features", this is my second to last "L" - one more and it is off to another book. This has been a mixed letter/book combination, and I look forward to what the finale will bring. For this film, "Lady Terminator" it is getting a green mark with blue stars. I cannot wait to add this film to my collection and show friends the power of this singluar effort. What a painful - but utterly enjoyable film. Bravo!